Get it not regret it

After 23 years of Dil Se, I chanced upon the movie’s title song on YouTube. I felt a jolt in my heart. I felt as if someone punched me in the stomach and sucked the air out of my body. I have since been hearing this song in a loop, more like watching it in a loop. The video is what breathed life to an otherwise ‘any other’ romantic ballad. The soul of the song is not its lyrics or music but the way the director envisioned it. There was an imprint of Mani Ratnam’s vision throughout the song. It took the wisdom of years to decipher the story this song has been telling since it went on air. 

The song ‘Dil Se’ starts with a police siren and men in uniform guarding the city against unseen dangers. There are barbed wires and fire everywhere. The army is marching on the streets, reiterating its iron-clad presence in the area. The picturization is noteworthy of the human tendency to guard the past. The past that pricks us wants to destroy us and keeps reminding us of our pathetic state, yet we keep protecting it with an iron will. We not only want to safeguard the devil of our past but also dance with it. Our heart keeps wailing for freedom from the past, yet we ensure to curb its wail.

Manisha Koirala running in the lanes of the cursed city is every one of us. We keep running from the hauntings. We are the hunted and we are the hunters stuck in the midst of firing. Just like Manisha running away from a deeply agonising history, we also every day run from ourselves. When we wake up in the morning we can feel the weight of the past on our bosom but we refuse to let go of it. We fear the change; we fear the acceptance of what made us. We are not a consequence of a thunderstorm but a series of actions whether well-intentioned or circumstantial. We refuse to acknowledge this. All we do is get up in the morning and pretend to be happy and start running an endless chase much like Manisha in the song.

And then something beautiful happens. Like Manisha’s Shahrukh, we get someone who shows us the beauty in ruins. Someone who runs along with us guards us, protects us, saves us from the chest-thumping devil of the past, and makes sure it grabs us when we fall. When all the fingers point at us, it wraps us in the warmth of its arms. In a beautiful sequence, Shahrukh’s finger catches Manisha’s bangle that she purposely breaks to move away from him. It speaks so much about us. We intentionally move away from hope and faith to marinate in suffering. We assume that we are undeserving of love. But the reality is that each one of us is born to love, to be loved. In our saddest moments of despair, we push away the hope which crawls to us in the smoothest possible way.

Shahrukh tries to convince Manisha that they are the leaves that departed in autumn and after so many seasons they have regrown to reunite again. He explains to her how pain and love are interrelated eternally. Love is the cause of pain and we have to believe in the power of love. Shahrukhs of our destroyed lives want to rescue us. They are watching every action of ours in a bid to save us from paying homage to our past every day. Unbeknownst to us, they are our guarding angels who offer their helping hand to us whenever we are sad and lost. Yet, we chose to remain ungrateful to them because our sufferings have made us bitter and numb.

However, Manisha does give an honest try to triumph her past. We see children running on the streets, a symbol of excessive happiness and innocence, a symbol of goodwill and freedom. Finally, she throws open the door of her stoned heart to Shahrukh. He tries to bring back happiness in her life in a certain measure. There is cheerfulness, unabated glee, hugs, and joy written all over in this sequence. Shahrukh acknowledges that a relationship is bondage where there are stone walls and barbed wires. Yet the vines grow, reminding us of the never-ending tales of love reenacted by different characters in the world at all times. Unhappiness in the heart is vibrant but remember it keeps coming and going. We are but victims of birth and death, the only certainties of this incertitude life.

Life and its experiences humbled me. Travelling made me wiser. Life’s experiences do make you a little better than before, as well as a little bitter than before. I used to think that better and bitter are choices, but they are not. They add up to your life, making you everything that you don’t desire. You have to accept yourself and at the same time be kind to yourself. Acceptance of what you’ve become is your way to acknowledge that the past is done and dusted. There is no point rolling in the dust and getting dirtier every passing day, move past the past.

Let our children dream!

January is almost over and in a few months, 2 in precise, we shall have April. I associate April with anxiety and I can still feel shivers down my spine 20 years after I have written the entrance exams. April, the season of exams, has this impact on most of us, so I assume. The brightest minds of our nation will sit the examinations which will determine their future. But for one of the most densely populated country on Earth are 23 IITs and 7 AIIMS sufficient? Well, I will leave this question for the polity to answer.

I am sure most of our children have traveled to various coaching classes in various cities in India to achieve academic glory. But here is the catch, not all can make into the prestigious universities. There will be failures and disappointments. However, will there be any analysis of failure? Will there be any corrective action taken on the wilted minds of youth? There can be no definite answer to this. It is my belief that every failure needs to be examined with care and attention. Every failure is associated with a problem and that problem deserves analysis. The root cause should always be given due respect if one wants to avoid failure in the future.

Failure has been used abundantly by people. There are videos of how success awaits after failure. There are stories of scientists, artists and the likes all pointing towards the age-old paradigm of success favors the brave. Hell! We even have a saying, ‘Try and Try until you Succeed’. Now, let me ask you, can a fish walk? Can a tortoise jump? Can an elephant function like a hippo? Obviously, the answer is no. Would you then judge a fish by its ability to walk? Or a tortoise by its agility to jump like a rabbit? Or expect an elephant to breathe underwater? It is an understood fact that every animal is different. Even with their differences, they try to live in peace with whatever is left of the jungles governed by the law of the jungle. When we can understand that every animal is different how difficult it is for us to understand that every child is also different.

As a parent have we ever thought whether our child is cut out for the regular stuff or is supposed to walk the road less traveled? There are children who cannot solve trigonometry problems. Does this make them dumb? If you are thinking yes, then this puts almost half of the world’s population in that zone. Putting it simply, the rabbit is considered to be one of the most intelligent animals but we still cannot compare a rabbit with a lion. However, we must remember that both have their places firmly rooted in the ecosystem. So if a child cannot find interest in Math or solace in human anatomy it is all right.

We have to rescue our children from the unrealistic weight of our unfulfilled dreams. Our children are not an instrument to realize our expensive expectations. They are not a business venture or a mutual fund investment. They have their own dreams and it is downright cruel to snatch away those fragile, velvety dreams. Parents have to understand that children belong to the society, to a promising land of aspirations and hopes. Grading them based on marks or ranks will strip them of their distinct identity. It is akin to cutting off the wings of a bird which has just opened its eyes to a beautiful blue sky. As parents, we are forever responsible for caging the dreams of our children just like those chickens who are about to be slaughtered. Every child doesn’t need to share the same destiny. Our children have to be a meaningful addition to society. They need to know that success favors the brave yes, but it also needs passion. Disinterested kids become disgruntled adults whose negligence towards the societal evils harms the society more than the evils themselves.

Who wants a miserable and a grumpy future? Let us all start reasoning why are we forcing our children to become sheep? Why are we not letting them explore different options? Why aren’t we letting them toughen up? Why are we so hell-bent on academics? Why can’t we promote fine arts as an alternative career path? Why can’t we let our children breathe?

We have always wanted to see our children successful but is being successful all about materialistic gains? Is being successful not about how contented we are with our work? How happy we are in our minds? How relaxed we are in our lives? Why are we setting up the wrong standards of success? Why can’t we be reasonable and true to our children? Our children were not brought up in a day. We have toiled to bring them up. How can we just let them slip in a spiral of unhappiness and disappointment? We have to preserve their talent which will open up new ventures and unseen frontiers of life for them.

Dear parents, please don’t force your beautiful part to grow up into a disgruntled individual. Let us not suffocate the dreams of our children. Let us not give away to competition that what needs to be nurtured with love and compassion.

Hello Zero!

I am not an SRK fan. These days I am not any superstar’s fan. Give me average looking actors working through hardships in scripts (at least ) which are close to life. Yes! I have switched gears to semi-realism because, in all honesty, realism will kill me. So the new breed of semi-realistic actors who may or may not be working in parallel cinema, the likes of Irfan Khan, Ayushmann Khurana, et al. are my favorites these days. Or let me say in past few years.

With the release of Race 3, Thugs of Hindustan and other below average movies, my disappointment in Hindi cinema is palpable. Friends suggested, turn to regional cinema. The problem is, I am not even a Bahubali person. And hence, the circle of preferences decreased in size further. These low IQ movies (must I say, zero IQ) also had low on life songs. My ears were dying to hear a melody with soul-stirring lyrics. Andhadhun’s music came close to this, but lyrics… naah!

I kept on going back in time to quench my thirst for meaningful poetry. In the process, I discovered Ranjish.com where Urdu gazals have found a safe haven. You must listen to Ranjish.com for the sheer ingenuity of the effort. The deep baritone voices which recite the hauntingly beautiful gazals pick you up in time and place you in a timeless universe. But still, the lack of good quality songs in Hindi cinema kept troubling me.

Enter Zero, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6bx9HGprCg

This is not a blog post but a love letter to Irshad Kamil for quenching my thirst for a beautiful song. Finally, there is a song which can be heard on repeat mode without getting tired. This song comes closest to defining the madness of Love, the passion that Love is, the beast, as I always maintain, Love is. The beauty of this song is in the lyrics which touch the soul via the heart. I haven’t stopped hearing this song ever since its release. This song will never bore us because the derivative of this song is Love. In fact, in this single song, we can hear not just the bold confession of Love but also a daring Love taking on Divine face to face.

The song begins with a beautiful comparison of lips with colors, of fragrance with the smell of tresses and how uninspiring and torpid the world is without the beloved. What steals the show is the blatant declaration of love. The entitlement on one’s beloved doesn’t sound repulsive but passionate. I will give full marks to Ajay-Atul’s music for creating this earnest milieu. And one goes announcing this, jab tak jahan mein subah shaam hai tab tak mere naam tu, jab tak jahan mein mera naam hai tab tak mere naam tu! Abhay Jodhpukar’s silky voice weaves the magic perfectly.

‘Wow’ touches another level as the song proceeds.

The poet touches the intricate characteristics of Love. Love is an intensity which confuses and is the damn solution of all confusions. It doesn’t work seamlessly but in abrupt explosions which making it passionate, mad and obdurate, all at the same time. Once it has decided, nothing and absolutely nothing will stop it from achieving the end goal. The poet, as it looks superficially, even surpasses the beauty of nature while talking about the depth of love. In fact, this is what love is about. Once you have experienced the mad passion one can say that nothing is the same again. The beauty is forever locked in the eyes of the beloved. Only the gaze of beloved can release Love, give it wings. Now, this is the passion which was missing in the lyrics for the longest time I can remember.

The second stanza is all the way Irshad. He has got it right. Lovers are like Sun and Earth, locked forever in a gravitational embrace. For Earth, there is only Sun. The Sun has other planets for himself but his love for Earth is evident in the abundance of Earth. Sun and Earth are lovers stuck in the infinite expanse of Universe. And here again the unabashed entitlement of love.

Next comes a revelation; your acceptance or denial isn’t going to break the deal. Love has always been such. It doesn’t need anyone’s validation or reciprocation. It exists. A ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ has no meaning in the Universe of Love. Yes, the song ends with this revelation that Love has its own Universe where the laws of our Universe don’t apply!

The song has been rendered impeccably by Abhay Jodhpurkar and the melodious music has been given by Ajay-Atul. They are technically 10 on 10. However, this song belongs only to Irshad Kamil. Thank you, Irshad for writing this piece. This is Zamzam for a soul starving for harmony and melody. You quenched it!

Indian Men – Stop generalizing. Stop apologizing

On 31 January 2016, the Indian city of Bangalore recorded an incident, now known as ‘mass molestation’. The incident was covered with vigor in the local press, national press, and international media also. Newspapers were plastered with headlines which will send chills down the spine. Feature this – Bengaluru’s night of shame or even this, Bangalore molestation incident is a grim reminder of India’s fragile masculinity. Of course, there are more but the idea is not to share the headlines of leading dailies. We have read so much about it on newspapers, social media – Facebook and Twitter and the news channels that refused to stop reporting it.

So what did we achieve from it? Did rapes elsewhere in India stop? Did marital rapes which perhaps at this particular moment are happening in someone’s neighborhood stop? Did eve-teasing (a term coined by the Indians for the Indians) stop? Did hitting of women either physically or verbally stops? The answer is inherited in the question itself. Looking from a broader perspective, do rapes happen only in India? Is marital rape an Indian problem? Are women labeled ‘colorfully’ only in India? Is India the birthplace of atrocities against women? Again, the answer is in the question itself. So what did we achieve by dynamically covering the ‘mass molestation’ case? We achieved to label Indian men as marauders across the globe. I feel bad for Indian men who have become the new Muslims of socially (media) empowered India.

Feminism is a great concept. The fact it is misunderstood also makes it a mysterious concept. There are men who like to label outspoken women (like me) as ‘feminazi’. Then there are men who like to label silent women (perhaps like you) as ‘resilient’. Each one has a perspective of their own. But what exactly is feminism? For me, feminism is another word for equality. A feminist society is not the one where women call the shots. Then what is the difference in patriarchy and feminism? Like every school of thought, this too has radicals, liberals, and these days a third wave. Yet, the basic building block of feminism is equality. And none of its derivative will change this. But why suddenly I am writing about feminism? Because from here will start a discussion of a true feminist (as I would like to ‘label’ myself). Some would like to classify me as pseudo-feminist, some would call me as the liberal feminist, and I may find a mention as third wave feminist. Howbeit, I see myself as pure, unadulterated feminist. You can leave the article if you are interested in reading another story of abuse. You can leave the article if your thoughts are not intersecting with mine.

On the evening of 26 December 2016, I was going back home after meeting a dear friend of mine. I left during peak hours. Peak hours are defined as those hours when people leave office to reach home. These are rush hours. Since I was in Mumbai and traveling via local train from Thane, one can imagine the rush during evening peak hours. To give you an idea of how crowded a local train can get during peak hours (morning or evening) – it is common to have 14-16 people per square meter during this time. Now imagine the number of people on the platform. It was like a sea of human beings – smelly ones. Since I was trying to reach the platform I was almost like a drop in the sea surrounded by hundreds of other drops. And these drops belonged to the masculine gender. If you are a drop in the ocean (of water) you are lucky. You’ll be surrounded by other drops who are made of similar composition like you – hydrogen plus oxygen. But if you are a female surrounded by males suddenly you become protective about yourself. You fear being groped. You fear indecent behavior. You fear those double-meaning smiles. You fear every inch of your body. I reacted in a similar way. I tried to protect my breasts by clutching my bag close to them. I was trying to protect my back from being brushed accidentally by unknown hands. In this process I realized, I am not walking at all. In fact, I am standing at the same place for the past 5 minutes. What a waste of time! This is when I realized I can’t be a cat in the house. I have to walk. And if someone touches me accidentally or deliberately then so be it. There are millions of incidents happening daily, this too will be one of them. At least I’ll reach home. At this rate, it will take me more than 2 hours to reach back.

Assuming I am surrounded by predators and prepared for any fate, I walked freely in the sea of men. They were all kinds of men – rich, poor, poorer than poor. Some looked creepy (as if I cared), some looked disinterested, and some were sophisticated. Yet the experience in itself was eye-opening. I was not touched. I was not groped. Nobody accidentally or deliberately brushed their hands against my chest or my butt. In that sea of men, I thought I was unsafe – I was proven wrong. By the time I reached my platform which is a good 7-minute walk, I reached untouched. Believe it or not, there was a distance maintained by those men (and I thank those unknown gentlemen) who surrounded me while walking. I have heard many stories of being groped while trying to catch a local (train). Mine is different because nobody dared to touch me. I am not a scary female with canines shooting out from my mouth. I am just like any other female but my experience certainly was not. The remainder of my journey was as smooth as silk. All through my journey, I was thinking – why do we label Indian men as letch? Why do we generalize them as chauvinists? My own experience with men has been a wonderful mixture of good and bad. I have had worst experiences with those I would trust my life with. And then there came good Samaritans who ensured I don’t lose faith and become a man-hater.

Why did I mention this incident? I mentioned it because it is essential to let the world know not every Indian man is a predator. Yes there are exceptions to the case. Since we are a democratic nation, we speak liberally about these exceptions. At times, we even overdo, in this process generalizing all Indian men as chauvinists or rapists or molesters. We have big Indian cinema stars speaking, tweeting, making videos about how shameful the incident has been. It indeed was a shameful incident. There has to be police inquiry about it. But what’s with writing articles like the one which appeared in BuzzFeed – Indian Parents aren’t raising their sons right, and it’s endangering Indian’s women. I take supreme objection on this statement. No parent teaches their kids (male or female) to harm others. Are you saying Indian parents train their sons to rape the females? And what’s with us circulating such articles? Why didn’t we find anything wrong with it? This clearly makes our brothers, fathers, friends, husbands, boyfriends as rapists. I agree some will be but not all. Stop generalizing. For the sake of common sense, stop passing encapsulated comments on 623 million males of this country.

Let me assure you, Indian women aren’t endangered species. When the western world was still sleeping over women’s rights, Indian women were voting. Indian women have celebrated equality even before the concept was known to the western civilization (pun intended). We have had the strongest of leaders as women. Rani Lakshmi Bai wasn’t the first to fight, each woman of this country has always been a fighter since time immemorial. For those who feel Indian men are chauvinists or not being raised right, please go back to history. Historically it was the effort of great Indian stalwarts like Raja Ram Mohan Roy, Mahatma Phule, Pandit Vidyasagar , Keshub Chandra Sen, Baba Amte, Vinoba Bhave, Athavale, Acharya and more to mention to bring about a social renaissance in India. Mahatma Phule was one of those social reformers who even educated his wife Savitri Bai Phule to become a reformer. All of these had their own unique intellectual and creative output. All of these helped in the transition from ‘medieval’ to ‘modern’. All of these were men. India is not new to oppression. In India still, we have oppression done in the name of caste, religion, culture and even gender. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t raising our kids right. That doesn’t mean every Indian man you encounter is an oppressor. He too can be a victim of the society which changes at snail’s pace. At the same time, he can be the person who refuses to change with time. Like any other nation, men in India too are a mix.

India is that country which perhaps has the best laws to save the fairer sex. These laws were drafted to protect the rights of the women. Though we are still to bring in law criminalizing marital rape, yet there are other laws which compensate for this. This has given Indian women an added and undue advantage over men. However, even with the law sometimes in wrong hands, men have never complained. In fact, they have only helped in strengthening laws for protecting the rights of women. I never see this discussed on any news channel on this. I never see the atrocities committed by women on men reported in any newspapers. I never see mention on the misuse of these laws. There are both sides of the coin. Why always generalize Indian men? The incident was wrong. But it was one incident. It wasn’t as if 51% of Indian population is molesting 49% of Indian population. I agree it was wrong. But then it is a crime in itself to paint the entire nation’s male population with the same color.

And what is with Indian men? Why are you apologizing? What makes you apologize for the mistake you haven’t done? It is similar to upper castes apologizing for the atrocities committed by their ancestors on the lower castes. Why should I apologize for a crime I don’t even know was done by my forefathers? Have you ever seen the sun apologizing for being the sun? It never apologizes when the temperature reaches 50-degree centigrade and people die of heat stroke. Come on, Sun! People are dying, either decrease your temperature or apologize. It doesn’t care a dime. Have you seen the rain apologizing for either not coming on time or for coming too much? It may lead to a famine or a flood-like situation; however, it will never apologize. Have you ever seen mother earth for apologizing for an earthquake in any part of the world? Mother Earth doesn’t care either. My point is, why Indian men are making videos and circulating and saying I apologize. Why are you asking for sorry? Did you commit the crime? Did you support the crime? Did you teach your son to rape a woman? No. You can’t take responsibility of how other people behave. You should not. My father never apologized for my mistakes. But he did make me realize those. He ensured I felt sorry and didn’t repeat. This is how it should be. You can’t be responsible for a murder which was committed by another man or woman. You can’t take the responsibility for the actions of 51% population. You get angry and that is fair. But that doesn’t mean you start apologizing and advising women to chop off ‘that’ part of men who misbehave. Having been a victim of groping in the past let me tell you it is a super quick activity which doesn’t even give the women a chance to react. Rather than apologizing can Indian men do a deep analysis on why these incidents happen? Can they understand what happens in the mind of men who indulge in crime against women?

Months ago, a leading daily of India had conducted a similar study on this. It was an interesting study which spoke about how rapid urbanization is impacting the minds of men and women. How in the times of globalization we are pushing ourselves not forward but backward. We need more such studies to understand what happens in the minds of people who indulge in crime. Punishing criminals is one part of the story. The story, however, will be incomplete without proper root cause analysis. Until and unless we deep dive in all sections of the society we won’t be able to eradicate such crimes. Sometimes the same men who apologize also indulge in closed door prostitution. Sometimes the same men who advise women to chop off, are the ones who rape their wives. Don’t apologize for the sake of it. Don’t apologize to make a video of it. Don’t apologize to say how sorry you feel to be a man. Be a man and be proud of your gender. Rather than apologizing it would be great if the men can come together with women and start the process of reform. India is on the brink of another change, the change which is triggered by social media, exposure to the world in entirety because of the internet. In these changing times, we also need reformation. We need another social renaissance which has to be triggered now. Perhaps it is already triggered. Who knows there is a bunch of silent but resilient men working in close collaboration with women and slowly bringing in the change?

I do agree the incident was shameful. But generalizing Indian men and apologizing won’t change the situation. In fact, it dilutes this dreaded incident. Stop apologizing and start working on the change. At the same time, as a proud Indian woman let me say this – not all Indian men are predators. Stop generalizing Indian men.

My kind of love

I know for sure I deserve love,

Not the mediocre kind,

Not the one which is everyone’s find,

But the extraordinary one,

That which is infused with eccentricity and passion,

Yes! This is my kind of love.

My kind of love is the one which gives me calm,

Nevermind the strength of the storm,

It penetrates in my soul via my eyes,

Not bothering to know what’s my size,

And in the sea of million eyes,

Those eyes lock just with my eyes.

The love I yearn for sips coffee with me,

It has its eyes just for me,

And then when I come all silly,

It makes me blush like tiger lily,

And as it talks with me about life and passion,

My heart gets filled with sweet sensation.

The love I search for helps me create my own myth,

And not bothering the ramblings of the society, it stands by it,

Sometimes in trying to belong as I lose my edge,

It secures my heart like a wedge,

And then reinforces my belief in self,

Explaining me how good I am when I play my natural self.

The love I want to devote my life understands the want of sanctified space,

Yet it knows I am waiting every time it steps out of that space,

It might be stone cold,

But it knows I am there to hug and hold,

There might be darkness around,

Which will be driven off by the positive vibes we surround.

My kind of love doesn’t need a language,

It doesn’t come in quantified brackets of age,

It falls down, it makes mistakes,

But I know it is not fake,

There is no possibility to ever judge,

For in love, you can never judge.

I know for sure I deserve this love,

I know it is hard to find such love,

But I also know this is my kind of love,

Which is one in a million find,

The wait it takes to find such love,

I can wait for you a million years…………

She is a woman

She isn’t bothered by your thoughts about her,
She doesn’t get overwhelmed​ by the games of power against her.

Her karma is to mix myriad colors to paint the canvas called life,
Nevermind if these colors bring her grief or strife.

She absorbs your perspective, retaining her objectivity,
As you shove your views on her, she maintains her sanity.

You call her offensively ambitious,
Howbeit she is courageous.

She is a go-getter,
A trendsetter.

You see her vanity in her make up and ask disdainful whys,
Wish you could leer through those cold, kohl smeared eyes.

You find her honesty threatening,
Nonetheless she keeps on inspiring.

Her tolerance is magical,
And you thought she is whimsical?

When she analyzed those operose problems for solutions,
You dismissed her intelligence as coincidence.

You commodify her as sexy,
She is but more than just being sexy.

A free-spirit ready to embrace the world, confident and caring,
And all you saw in her was alluring!

As the world tried to change her self,
She’s trying to maintain the selfless self.

Her identity is beyond to woo a man,
She is a WOMAN!!!

Aye Zindage Gale Laga Le!!

The song ‘Aye Zindagi Gale Laga Le’ invokes reactions more than can be read in one journey. Sung in the melodious voice of Suresh Wadekar, with the music of the Maestro, this is perhaps one of the gems from Gulzar’s heart. The movie was spectacular yet, the song defines life and love way beyond the description of words.

I have always wondered what the song means, what went into Gulzar’s head while he was penning these lyrics​. How can someone with simple words write couplets with deep meaning which go beyond the surface? At the onset, this song is a simple number which can be hummed again and again without deciphering much into its heart. Nevertheless, it can be interpreted in multitude ways.

My elucidation of the song is based on my life experiences, interactions and the fact, this number stayed in my head for almost from the time I heard it. It sounds weird​ and funny yet, in trying times, this song played on repeat mode in my head. Today as I realized what it means to me, I couldn’t help but share it with all.

First things first link to the song – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BXqAnZWqdQ

Enjoy this beautiful number and then you can come back to the meaning of this melody.

If I imagine this as a conversation between two lovers, I would interpret it thus…. By the way, this is explaining as a girl singing for her guy.

aye zindagi gale laga le (2)
humne bhi tere har ek gham ko gale se lagaaya hai .. hai na
aye zindagi gale laga le (2)

The girl is desperate to have a piece of life. She imagines her life with the guy she loves. For her, he is everything. Thus, she is asking life to hug her tight. With an expression of approval, she tries to convince life to hug her by reminding how she has accepted every sorrow given to her happily. Here, the girl is asking for guy’s unwavering attention, she wants him to love her, accept her. He is her life.

STANZA-1
humne bahaaney se .. chupke zamaaney se
palkho ke pardey mein ghar bhar liya
teraa sahaaraa mil gayaa hai zindagi

The girl is convinced the guy is her life. She has survived heartbreaks, difficult times, tears. His presence in her life has made all the difference. She could survive this because deep in her heart, he lived unknown to the world, away from the moralities of life. With him in her eyes, she has opened up to a life of love and affection.

STANZA-2
chota sa saaya tha .. aankon mein aaya tha
humne do boondon se man bhar liya
humko kinaaraa mil gaya hai zindagi

She knows she cannot have him. He is perhaps engaged in his worldly affairs. All she can get is a piece of him, or maybe even not that. All she can do is perhaps look at him from a distance or feel him in her thoughts. He is in her eyes and thus in her heart forever. She is content with whatever she can get. Even this distance for her is satisfactory so long as she has him in her heart. His presence has made her an optimistic person. She can face the hurdles of life confidently. Finally, she has come to terms with life and has found her own two feet.

I have interpreted this song from a girl’s point of view. However, if I were to talk about a boy’s perspective, it wouldn’t be different either. This song is a classic because it talks about soulmates. Every time I listen to this song, I am transported into a world of abstract reasoning. Only now the lyrics have started making sense to me. I believe the composition is such that each person can have his or her own interpretation. However, no one can deny this song does establish a connect between two long lost souls who have finally connected in this infinitely looking finite Universe where the moralities of life don’t apply and the mind can finally start feeling the warmth of love.

Indian National Congress – Back to basics

​Congress’s decline isn’t a new phenomenon. The party has in the past seen some serious downfalls and has ably resurrected​ itself. I have been following the Congress party for some years now. I have a liking for this party because it has some great stalwarts associated with it. Of course, we can argue in length and breadth about the ‘contribution’ of these stalwarts in India’s growth and development. Yet, I would like to exercise​ my right to like or dislike based on the age-old​ human tendency​ of making prejudices and favorites.

In the age of ‘on-your-face-media’ Congress is doing nothing to break its shell. It has capable leadership but is not able to encash it. It is like the money in PPF which one can encash only after 17 years, but what is the point if you need it now!
The likes of Digvijay Singh, Satyavrat Chaturvedi, Abhishek Singhvi are talking about a so-called surgery. Satyavrat went a mile ahead and said – Cardiac Surgery. Nevertheless, the problem is extremely basic and Congress needs to go back to fundamentals. The problem here is foundational – it is the lack of acceptance. Congress has to accept that there exists a problem. Once acceptance is triggered solution/s will follow.

Lack of Acceptance comes due to fear of failure or rather acknowledging the failure. In my opinion, Rahul Gandhi is doing more harm to himself by sidetracking from accepting the defeats head-on​. One can argue, Assam was anti-incumbency, Kerala was also an Assam case, Tamil Nadu was a surprise and I think Didi was going to make a comeback in West Bengal. Yet, if this is what the pattern of expression is then the party is doing more damage to itself than BJP can ever inflict on it. It is a classic example of excuses are the pillars used to build a house of failure.

Failure is not a plague. You shouldn’t avoid failure. In fact, failure teaches us lot more than success. Some of the best failures are the best leaders in history. India got its independence after failing multiple times in multiple ways. Finally, when we won it, we won it. Rahul Gandhi wouldn’t lose a dime in meeting his party men and women and talking about his failure in converting votes in Congress’s favor. By talking to his people at the grass-root level he will only learn. Some of the greatest leaders in history have evolved not by sulking but by tackling their worst fears and failures.

Underlying some issues which Congress faces as of now:

1. The childlike attraction towards Priyanka Gandhi – Can we move on from the era of Moses? Congress needs to understand no one can revive their fortune singlehandedly​. To believe a prophet or a fairy godmother will change their fortune is a juvenile thought. There has to be a collective leadership taking joint responsibility of the ship at all times. Identify the best troubleshooters, treasurers, solution binders and give them the authority to run the show through democratic understanding. Stop asking for Priyanka Gandhi after every defeat. Make the party and its people understand – You already have a Gandhi and better cling to him rather than showing distrust in his leadership all the time. This way you are only denting his position​ and doing no good. I don’t know what Priyanka wants but even if she decides to take the plunge, she should remember that in current times no one can run a show alone. You need decentralization of power, collective responsibility and empowering of meat-and-potatoes.

2. Win the faith of the people – You’ve lost the plot. Honestly, corruption is synonymous with Congress. I am an avid fan of the party but the corruption irks me. I can imagine how deeply people hate the party for its corrupt ways. I am sure, Congress isn’t as corrupt as media or fellow parties portray it. However, the writing is on the wall. Read it. Bring in people with the clean image. They can be less smart but, please try they are honest. Honesty is indeed the best policy. I understand politics is a genre where honest can’t survive. Yet, check Kejriwal. He has created this air of honesty – how honest he is only time will tell. But the air he has created has translated into votes. Punjab elections will more or less give us an idea of this.

3. Tap the untapped – Rahul Gandhi had championed for women empowerment. Where has that thought gone? Women today are running the show – Maya, Mamata, Jaya, Vasundhara are political examples. In the society, women are trying to build a platform for themselves and give a tough fight to those who challenge their being. Why isn’t the party tapping the almost 50% population of the country? If it is doing so, why isn’t it propagating? When you are dealing with a topic as genteel as a woman, bring in party policies to reflect your intent. Look at what Canadian PM Justin Trudeau did. Learn from him. This will give Congress the impetus it is looking for. Remember if you are successful in influencing​ a woman, you are successful in influencing her kids, at least.

4. Rahul, go to Uttar Pradesh – Damn required. If you are being suggested to take the baton of the Chief Minister of UP, take it. Narendra Modi proved his abilities as the CM of Gujarat and people of the country awarded him the country. It is about time, Mr. Gandhi understands that India has changed. No one will give you the coveted post until they are convinced that you can lead. PM Modi has been successful in convincing​ Hindustanis that there is no alternative to him. He could do this by selling the Gujarat model to Indians. Think about it, what can Rahul Gandhi sell to Indians – nothing other than his surname which Indians these days hate!! It would be interesting to see how he can lead, manage and transform​ the state which is in stale state​. If Rahul can manage UP, he can manage India. It would be engaging to know about his policies for UP. There is nothing wrong in starting from the basics. Win the trust of the people. By the way, even after being projected as CM if Congress loses the election, it should still continue on the path of acceptance and transformation. Failure is the best teacher.

5. Be a part of the Government – Being in opposition doesn’t mean you have to oppose each and every government policy. Being in opposition gives you more scope to enhance your credibility and visibility. The government has initiated some tremendous programs can Skill India and Access India. These are the kind of programs which should be celebrated irrespective of your loyalties. By implementing and supporting these programs at axiological levels Congress can showcase to the nation it is genuinely trying to be part of India’s development story. Congress has a huge connect and it can utilize this connect to extend support to the government in running a great show. Irrespective of where our loyalties lie, we must not forget we all are part of this great nation and we have to strive to develop it, better it. How about extending a warm hand of friendship to Uma Bharti in cleaning the soul of this country? Think about it!!

7. Be critical but be genuine – Don’t criticize​ for the sake of criticizing​. Do it with care and concern. Remember, the country is watching you. Every word you speak should be pondered even before it leaves your mouth at least a hundred​ times. In the age of non-stop news, make sure you are making news and not views. Appreciate the Government and stop passing the buck.

Political gains are made not by forming ties but by winning the hearts of the people. India has a complex heart. You never know what will hit the right string and what will create unnecessary ripples. The grand old party of India is not losing ground but faith of the people in it. Small time earners are AAP and other regional parties. Congress has to bring a paradigm shift by not just changing its approach but also influencing the way people of India think about it. It is a long and a tedious journey but every genuine effort counts. If you want to achieve the unachievable, you have to do the unthinkable.

Life is not a fairy tale….

This realization is after living life for more than 30 years. Ask me about it! I am 30+, soon-going-to-be-single, not a mother, hopelessly lagging on the career front, and a practising procrastinator. These are definitely not the reasons to bring happiness in anyone’s life. And amid all the nonsense that I live with, I have to deal with serious life changing moments.

I swear I didn’t want these ‘exceptional’ life defining moments in my life. I thought it was cool to read about them but, definitely, I was not ready to live them. It was always happening to a neighbour’s daughter or son. And even before I realized, the drama started unfolding in my life. This is when it hit hard, I am neither Cinderella nor Beauty. I, definitely, don’t have a knight in shining armour, who’ll come and rescue​ me from the mess I am in. In fact, most of the mess has been because I was with my knight who was riding a white horse. Okay, I’ll be honest, it was a car. And I gifted it. Silly! This wasn’t required.

Nevertheless, life is giving me lemons one after another and I am just waiting for a melon. Because a melon is bigger in size than a lemon and it is sweeter too. But above all, I believe, this is because we all wait for the sweetness to return in our lives. In this process, we completely forget sour, too, is just another flavor of life which must be enjoyed to the fullest. Slowly but steadily, I have realized – this is the story of life, it was neither a bed of roses, nor it will ever be. It is always about falling and failing. It is going to handover out-of-syllabus question paper to you, right when you feel you’re prepared to tackle it.

When Disney scripted Cinderella or The Beauty and the Beast or The little Mermaid all they told to the young girls there – With your prince, it is happily ever after. They never told that at times, even the best looking men come with a malevolent glint in their eyes. They ignored the fact that, even those doe-like​, innocent looking eyes can turn into a cold and devilish​ stare with the intent to destroy. Life, at times, is also about falling out of love. Or even worse, realizing it was not love. It is not that myths are broken every day. Yet, when they break, they break you in places where perhaps you can never be repaired. Hell! Disney and all those mushy love stories never prepared me for this.

In hindsight, I know, nothing can prepare me or anyone else for any circumstances. It is only the hope to which we all cling, helps us pass those tough moments. But those moments, I wish I can tell how painful they are. The pain is so real, you can almost touch it. The breakdown is so worse you can’t ever think about it again. To all those men and women facing tough times in life, you’re not alone, there are a whole bunch of those ready to give you company. Some have worse stories to share and some have a different perspective to offer, but each one of us has at least one lemon to share.

As I see these super, successful, happy, rich, beautiful, flawless, amazing women on vogue cover, I feel such a loser. I am in my plus thirties​ and I have to start all over again! I don’t even have a great career to fall back on. And not even a gorgeous figure. I am just so normal, so ordinary. A loser would be a small word to define me. Yet, the urge to keep going, to keep kicking is so orgasmic, I want to do it again and again. In its own subtle way, life has taught me that to be extraordinary​, I will have to excel in the ordinary first.

Failure is just a temporary state and so is success. What is permanent is the will to move on from point to point. In those awfully, lonely, moments of despair, what kept me going was the hope to see the next moment. This unrealistic, faint hope, gave me enormous possibilities to survive​ my drowning​ moments and love myself hopelessly. So here’s what I wish to say, life is definitely not a fairy tale and you don’t need a prince to survive your struggles, your failures or celebrate your happiness. You need you. Your body is not a temple which can be destroyed or desecrated. Before you give up​ forever remember, there is always another time and life is full of such other times.

So rebel and love yourself to the extent you offend the system, the society and those who benefit from your self-doubt.